my life is cringe

I feel pretty cringe when I remember my childhood. Until the age of twelve years old, I was a quite cold person, even my family called me "ice queen" or "Wednesday" from The Family Addams. I remember that when I knew people, the first thing that I did was look their weaknesses. Also, I liked making jokes too much or throwing out sarcasm phrases, I loved to criticize and find deficiencies, among others. But, this generated the point that I couldn't have friends, because I was in "I hate everyone" mood. Thanks to experiences and being able to open up a little more to people, I managed to mature that, because it is an attitude that brings more disadvantages than advantages for the future and life in overall. I reminisce that as a child, no matter how cold and distant I acted, internally I felt quite mournful and lonely for not having friends of my age.

Currently I still feel somewhat aloof, it may be part of my personality. Nevertheless, nothing compares to when I was little, and that's why I feel ashamed when I recall that. However, sometimes I laugh, I may even find it hilarious, but I am grateful for having changed.

So, yes this isn't a concrete history, but in definitely the most embarrassing thing that I experimented during twelve years in a row (my cringe is my whole childhood). It's a great momentary lapsus, lol.